


My.Name.Is.Not.Yoyo!

by Cinnamon_for_days



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M, Victor is worse than Starbucks, i wrote this late at night, too tired to think of tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 11:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13810077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamon_for_days/pseuds/Cinnamon_for_days
Summary: The angel picked up a pen to start writing on a takeaway cup. Which was odd, since Yuuri hadn't even told him his name yet."I'm Yuuri."The angel snorted."And I'm Casanova."…..Okay.In which Yuuri doesn't remember one small drunken mistake, which leads to one huge misunderstanding.





	My.Name.Is.Not.Yoyo!

**Author's Note:**

> My first coffee shop AU!! Truly a moment to be marked in history. Or, I was up late at night, saw my computer, and was like ‘Yeah, I feel like writing some random fluff.’ Hope y’all enjoy! -Cinnamon_for_days

Yuuri’s footsteps crunched on the freshly fallen snow as he walked down the street, his hands stuffed deep within his pockets, in the hopes of creating any type of warmth. His shivering breaths turned to water vapour in the frigid air, and his teeth chattered as the wind blew hard against him.

Shaking with the cold, Yuuri withdrew even deeper into his jacket (why hadn’t he thought to bring a coat?) and trudged on miserably.

Phichit was no doubt back at the apartment already, enjoying the sweet life of a piping hot shower, warm blankets, the TV and katsudon. Yuuri had been offered a lift, but he _stupidly_ decided that since he was out of shape, it would be a _fantastic_ idea to run the few miles from his college, all the way back to his apartment.

He hadn’t accounted for the fact that it was _midwinter._

Yuuri wanted to travel back in time, grab the past him by the scruff of the neck, and force him into that car.

But unfortunately for his poor dead toes, he did not possess the power of time travel.

So he was condemned to walking the cold, icy streets.

If he even _tried_ to run, he was sure that he’d slip and fall immediately.

The many joys of living in a place that froze over like a lake during winter.

Turning onto the high street, Yuuri abruptly decided that he valued his feet, turned around, and marched his icicles (that he used to call toes)  into the nearest coffee shop.

Now Yuuri knew how Rapunzel felt, because damn, he was SEEING THE LIGHT!

Warmth flooded through Yuuri as he took a deep breath in, opened his eyes- and now he was seeing the light in a whole different way.

What was no questions asked, the most _attractive_ man Yuuri had ever seen, was standing behind the counter, a breath-taking smile etched on his face.

“Welcome to Makka’s Latte!” The angel chirped “How can I help you?”

“By shutting up and letting the dude pick has damn order. “A blond kid, who looked no older than nineteen, grumbled from where he was perched, playing Talking Tom.

_Interesting_ taste _,_ but Yuuri wasn’t here to judge. He and Phichit still partook in Dance Dance Revolution tournaments every now and then. Usually when they were intoxicated. Actually, usually when _Yuuri_ was intoxicated, and Phichit had his phone out to take blackmailing photos.

It was a dog eat dog world.

“Espresso.” Yuuri rattled off without properly thinking, his ears still annoyingly cold.

The angel nodded, and picked up a pen to start writing on a takeaway cup. Which was odd, since Yuuri hadn’t even told him his name yet.

“I’m Yuuri.”

The angel snorted.

“And I’m Casanova.”  


……..Okay.

But the nametag said Victor.

The angry blond teen (who’s nametag read ‘Hi! I’m Yurio! Make sure to ask me all about our rival coffee shop, JJ Style!’), started to prep his coffee.

As he turned around he caught Yuuri looking at his nametag, and his gaze darkened.

“Just to be clear, _pig_ , my name is _not_ Yurio, and if you ask me about JJ, I will punch you right in your ugly face.”

…….Okay.

But the nametag said-

“Here!” Victor called, placing Yuuri’s coffee down on the counter, and momentarily blinding Yuuri with another smile.

“Thanks.” Yuuri smiled politely, paid, picked up his coffee, and headed outdoors with slightly more vigour.

As Yuuri neared his and Phichit’s flat, he noticed what was written on the side of the cup.

‘Hope to see you soon Yoyo!!”

………Okay.

 

 

 

 

                                                                       0o0

Phichit examined the coffee cup, humming slightly to himself.

“So he thinks that your name is _Yoyo_?”

Groaning, Yuuri buried his head in his hands.

“It’s not fair! He was just so _attractive_ Phichit!”

“Easy tiger, one problem at a time. You said your name clearly?”

“Of course!”

Phichit just laughed, and put the cup down, picking up the TV remote, and flicking channels.

“You must really like him if you’re this upset about him not knowing your name. What does the dude look like?”

“Silver hair, blue eyes, Russian accent…” Yuuri’s eyes took on a glazed stare.

Phichit on the other hand, dropped the remote.

“What?” asked Yuuri, turning around

“Nothing, nothing.” Phichit replied hastily, picking up the remote, and settling on the King and the Skater. “Completely hypothetical question…. Do you remember anything from the last time you were drunk?”

“I’m a blackout drunk, remember?”

“Do you _want_ to know what happened the last time you were drunk?”

“Probably something equally embarrassing as what happens every time I’m drunk.” Yuuri stood up, and started making his way towards his bedroom door “Goodnight Phichit.”

“Night Yuuri.” Phichit called from the couch.

He could tell Yuuri what happened- but it’d be _so_ much more fun to sit back and watch how this played out.

                                                                       0o0

The next day, Yuuri found himself back at Makka’s Latte, determined to make Victor realise his real name.

Why?

Because Yuuri was extra, of course.

And he couldn’t shake the feeling that he and Victor had met somewhere before.

It definitely had nothing to do with the non-existent fact that Yuuri maybe sorta kinda had a teeny tiny crush on Victor.

Miniscule, really.

“Hi!” Yuuri smiled, walking in through the door.

Yurio glared at him.

Victor smiled, and waved avidly, momentarily rendering Yuuri speechless.

“Yoyo!!!”

And the ability was recovered.

“Yuuri.” The aforementioned man said pleasantly.

“Bless you.” Victor replied.

…..This was going to be harder than Yuuri originally thought.

But he would not give up! It was now his mission to make Victor realise what his name was.

                                                                       0o0

He started small.

A big, visible tag on his backpack that said very clearly ‘Property of Yuuri Katsuki’

Yuuri tried to angle himself just right, so Victor would see it.

At first it seemed to work- Victor was staring right at it- but nope.

Yuuri was still ‘Yoyo.’

Why didn’t Victor notice it?

(Little did he realise that Victor was just ogling his back muscles.)

 

Time for Plan B.

 

                                                                       0o0

The next time, Yuuri tried out a nametag.

Similar to the one that Victor wore- it stated ‘Hi! I’m Yuuri Katsuki!’

Again Victor seemed to be looking straight at it.

But nothing.

(Little did he know, Victor was just zoning out thinking about how sweet Yuuri was)

Plan C!!!

 

                                                                       0o0

Bigger, bolder, obvious.

A shirt.

Custom made, with huge lettering.

‘I AM YUURI KATSUKI!’

NOTHING!!

Victor just smiled at Yuuri, laughed at his jokes, talked about his poodle.

Yuuri’s stomach did flips.

But Victor Still. Called. Him. YOYO!

 

 

                                                                       0o0

 

So now two months of fruitless attempts had passed, spring had arrived, and Yuuri could no longer deny the fact that he was deeply in love with Victor.

Deeply in love with a man who called him ‘Yoyo.’

Fantastic.

 

It was time for the last plan of all. The big, bad plan. Plan Z1A (That was how many times he had tried).

Yuuri strode into Makka’s Latte with meaning, stopping just before the counter.

“Hello, Yoy-“

“My name is Yuuri!!!!!!”

Victor looked confused.

“What?”

“My. Name. Is. Yuuri.”

“But it’s

“But it’s Yoyo!”

Okay.

Yuuri breathed in, breathed out, and focused.

“Why do you think my name is Yoyo?”

Now _Victor_ looked extremely confused.

“Because you TOLD me!”

“Why would I tell you that my name was YOYO!”

“That night!” Victor sounded…hurt?

 “That night at the town banquet! We danced! You drank a lot of champagne, and told me your name was Yoyo! Then you….”

Yuuri’s blood ran cold.

“Then I what?”

“ _You asked me to be your boyfriend!_ I thought….” Victor’s voice broke “I thought we were just taking it slow….”

If only Yuuri could just _hold his liquor._

_He was going to_ kill _Phichit when he got back home!_

But for now…..

Yuuri pulled Victor in, and kissed him, hard.

Then he pulled away, and held out his hand.

 

“Hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki. Would you like to  be my boyfriend?”

Victor smiled softly.

“Of course.”

                                                                       0o0

 

Three years later, on their anniversary, Victor gave Yuuri a yoyo as a present.

Yuuri was Not Impressed.

Until he tried flicking it, and a golden ring fell out.

 

 

 

They got married six months later.

 

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, I make every AU weird (flashbacks to the asparagus in my plant AU. Dark days indeed)


End file.
